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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25676473">A Fool in Her Wedding Dress</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/trebleDeath/pseuds/trebleDeath'>trebleDeath</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Not Another D&amp;D Podcast (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate History, Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Princes &amp; Princesses, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, loosely speaking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:14:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25676473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/trebleDeath/pseuds/trebleDeath</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternative history of the campaign after the campaign. </p><p>Wilhelm has died, letting Gemma, the new head of the family, choose her own husband. Everything is fine with her and Hardwon until she is killed tragically, leaving Hardwon as the widower prince of the Rustbeards. </p><p>Moonshine has gone out to work as she always intended. There's so much to do, cure Crick Rot, reunite the elves, maybe become a dragon rider and maybe deal with whatever cult faction is starting in Galederon.</p><p>Meanwhile, the dwarves and elves want to strike up a trade route, so, a union is the perfect way to unite their people in a peaceful trade. So, the elves dress up a half crick, half high elf, in line to be the next Meemaw as their princess, and the dwarves pretend this human man, only related by marriage, is a viable prince for her. </p><p>In other words, an arranged marriage au.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Moonshine Cybin &amp; Hardwon Surefoot, Moonshine Cybin/Hardwon Surefoot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Fool in Her Wedding Dress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So i've been listening to 'Tongues and Teeth' by the Crane Wives from the 'A Fool in Her Wedding Dress' album and I get such strong Moonshine vibes. Just the idea of a slow rage building. And ever since hearing it for the first time, I've been thinking about how to get her in an arranged marriage au so that i can make a fic play list. (linked at bottom) </p><p>idk if i'll continue this or update it very often, but i do want hardwon to fall in love with moonshine, and idk if it'll be reciprocated fully. idk. lmk what you want.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hardwon knew what Moonshine looked like, but he was still surprised when she came out of the doors. Her hair was put up and her make up was done in a similar style as what was in her pictures. But, there were no pearls or flowers in her bouquet or hair. Insteal mushrooms took their place. </p><p>Little mushrooms adorned her veil and a shelf mushrooms acted as a trim to her low cut dress. Maybe her dress wasn’t low cut normally, but her breasts were that big. Across them lay a garland of teeth. Her eyes were red rimmed and her nose was running just a bit, showing off that she had been crying previously. </p><p>Despite the gentle tremble in her lip, she held her shin high and walked the aisle to the soft violin. </p><p>The ceremony would be very small with just a few nobles and family in the room. </p><p>Even though the ceremony was small, the whole affair was being projected through crystals across the kingdoms. </p><p>When the elf, moonshine, got to the end of the aisle she looked at Hardwon, something fierce burning in her watery eyes. “You’re taller than I thought.” She kept her voice small,</p><p>“Your more...fungus-y than I though.” Hardwon replied with the same candor.</p><p>“Is that going to be a problem?” the fire in her eyes translated to a bite on her tongue. </p><p>“No, I—” </p><p>Jaina cleared her throat to get him to shut up. The non-denominational priest at the pew looked to both of them, “Well, welcome, you two. This is going to be a nontraditional wedding. Normally, unions of wood elves are rather loose, as I understand, and high elven unions are high elf exclusive.” He cleared his throat at that, clearly not caring for the inherent xenophobia of the elves. </p><p>“In Dwarven marriages, normally the father or clan leader would lead the celebration of the union and you two would braid eachother’s beards but. There are a number of things missing with that scenario. But, our benevolent Queen has bestowed me with the honor to conduct this celebration. We are going to simply exchange vows, express what you expect from this union and what this means to you. It’s to my understanding that you’ve both prepared comments?”</p><p>Both nodded. </p><p>“Allright, well let’s exchange vows then.”</p><p>Hardwon nodded, “Sure.” </p><p>Moonshine nodded in turn. “You go first.” </p><p>“Uhh, okay.” he cleared his throat, “Well. I, Hardwon Surefoot-Bronzebeard, tall Prince of Irondeep, pride of the Dwarves, Son of Elias Stormborn and holder of the Kingshammer, am no stranger to marriage. I’m still married to Jemma, and with her, all of the Dwarven people. I see this ceremony as a formal step in showing my devotion to my people. </p><p>“To all who are watching, know that you are in my heart at all times. And I’ve got a pretty fuckin’ big heart. I will protect you, Moonshine, as I protect each and everyone of my brethren. I will also protect the elves in our union and make a life for them with our people.” </p><p>Moonshine grimaced, “Elegant. Unfortunately, my vows come from the heart, not a prepped piece of paper.” </p><p>A woman with Moonshine’s same red hair and tooth gap snickered from the pews. </p><p>Moonshine cleared her throat. “I will never love you. I love my people. And I am heartbroken that they have elected that this is the best way to serve them. But I am nothing if not loyal to democracy and those who support me. I will work where I can, but it is a shame that a woman is demeaned to her station below a man who’s never gotten his hands dirty once in his life.” </p><p>Hardwon wrinkled his nose, “Oh you don’t know that. I’ve mined deeper than any dwarf before me. I rightfully won the kingshammer from my sister in law. I know work.” </p><p>“Well sure don’t look like it.” She spit at his feet, almost everyone in the court recoiled. </p><p>She continued, “If you knew work, you’d be out helpin’ people instead of marrying some girl from the Crick. I am doing this for my people. And I urge all of us to keep workin’. I will extend my hospitality to you when I am not preoccupied with bettering the world for everyone.” </p><p>The priest faltered for a moment. Before gathering himself, “Uhh, well. Thank you. We do of course need some representation of this union, so if you would. Feel free to kiss.” </p><p>Hardwon shook his head, “I think I’m good with a handshake,” </p><p>“Same.” Moonshine at least echoed that sentiment. </p><p>The priest raised his brows before stuttering out the next bit, “Well, it’s a bit nontraditional, but I suppose no kiss is strictly necessary. I pronounce you married.” </p><p>Hardwon nodded and reached out his hand to shake it. </p><p>The small group behind them clapped. </p><p>The two turned and walked out of the room. The others would be out soon to lead them to a reception. There, hundreds more nobels would party with them until the sun set and the moon was too high in the sky. </p><p>They were supposed to walk there together, but a woman grabbed Moonshine’s arm. It was the older woman who looked far too much like the bride. “Sorry, sir. I just need to borrow my daughter for one moment.”</p><p>Hardwon nodded, “Of course.” He didn’t hesitate and kept walking.  </p><p>And so, Moonshine was cornered with her parents. </p><p>“I can’t believe you acted so selfishly, Moonshine.” </p><p>“She’s doin’ this, ain’t she?” Jolene countered. </p><p>“Yes, but I expect more. This union won’t last long if she starts her marriage with ‘i will never love you’. Besides, that’s hardly what I would call hospitality. Isn’t that what you all are concerned with down there at the Crick?” </p><p>“Well yeah, that was rather rude, Moonshine.” </p><p>“I’m sorry Meemaw, I didn’t mean to mis-represent the Crick.”</p><p>Lucanis scoffed, “You’re also representing the High elves, dear. You need to hold both these ideals in your heart. I fully expect you to take care of these feelings before the next time you go to a public event with your husband.” </p><p>Jolene nodded, “I do have to agree there, baby. You’re of course allowed to be mad. You’re allowed to take up space in your own marriage and be mad that this is what you are now. But unfortunately, the public has some expectations they’re gonna hold you to.” </p><p>“Well can’t that be their own damn problem? We at the Crick never cared about making others happy with how we lived life. We’re supposed to be free.” </p><p>“I know baby,” she reached out to brush a stray lock away, “I know. And I hope that is how you can live eventually. Unfortunately, you’re not like other Crick folk. You can’t be completely free.” </p><p>Moonshine shook her head, pulling away from her mother’s touch, “I’m gonna hate it here, Meemaw.” </p><p>“I know, baby. Melora and Pawpaw will be with you. Just know that every single Crick out there is so, so happy for you and rooting for you.” </p><p>Lucanis popped back in, “The high elves too. You did so much for us already, and we don’t offer our gratitude enough. This is just a job, and you’re going to be amazing at it.”</p><p>Moonshine hesitated before nodding. Jolene and Lucanis took her into a hug. </p><p>They pulled away after a long minute. Jolene addressed her, “We’re going to be here for a few days. And then you’re going to go to Galederon and you can work again. I promise this isn’t a punishment or anything to stop you from trying to fix things.” </p><p>Moonshine nodded again, “It still feels that way.” </p><p>“I know, baby. But you’ll be fine. Let’s get to the reception. Pawpaw’s there and I made sure to bring plenty of crick water. You can have some fun tonight.” </p><p>Lucanis interrupted, “You also need to apologize to your husband.” </p><p>Moonshine frowned, “Yeah, I know I know. He didn’t deserve any of that. It’s not his fault I’m here or that he’s a rich boy. Let’s go.” </p><p>The trio walked to the reception hall. People were still filtering in, but a band was playing at one side of the hall.</p><p>Pawpaw, who was being managed by a handler, immediately started freaking out when Moonshine entered the room. His ‘reer’s drew enough eyes. But alas, he was restrained by a leash. </p><p>Moonshine hurried over and took him from the handler. Once he was in her arms, she gave him a squeeze, “Oh Pawpaw, I’m sorry you couldn’t be there for the ceremony. But you didn’t miss nothin’”  She kissed the top of his head before putting him down. </p><p>He ran around her feet, nipping at her heels as she grabbed a drink and threw it back. It burns, but in a warm, pleasant way. It was earthy and pleasantly fragrant, much different than what she was used to drinking but not bad. </p><p>Once she knocked a few of those down, she stole a flask from her Meemaw, knowing it contained Crick water. </p><p>With that in hand, she went to her husband who was still dressed in his formal clothes, though the animal skin that he had for the ceremony was abandoned somewhere. Moonshine came up and put a hand on his exposed bicep to grab his attention. </p><p>He looked at her, “Can I help you?”</p><p>She rolled her eyes inwardly, “No. I’m fine. I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted earlier. I’m mad at the situation, not necessarily you.” </p><p>“I don’t care,” he shook his head, “You’re allowed to be mad at me. If anything that’s better, let’s me know you’re not trying to replace Jemma.” </p><p>“Yeah, you mentioned that. Who is this woman and when will I meet her?” </p><p>“She’s dead.” His words became all that much colder, “She was killed.” </p><p>“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” She was quiet for a moment. “You don’t have to worry about that with me. I’m a strong mother fucker and I’m perceptive as hell, ain’t no one gonna kill me.” </p><p>He was silent for a moment. “Okay.” He finished the ale in his cup and traded it out for a full cup. “Well, apology accepted, I guess. But again, I really don’t care if you like me or not. We’re business partners at most. So just like, don’t fuck me over or anything.” </p><p>“I won’t.” It was Moonshine’s turn to hesitate, “We are business partners. And how I acted earlier wasn’t very partnerly of me, I’m just mad that this is a marriage an shit. I don’t. My people aren’t monogamous or very bougie, so coming into this relationship feels a lot like abandoning my people and heritage. But, as my momma pointed out, I’m abandoning my people more when I act so inhospitable. So again, I apologize, and I actually brought you something from where I’m from as a show of, you know, camaraderie.” </p><p>Hardwon sighed, “Yeah. Thanks. Your people have been sending over tons of elven armor and fine elven silk and floating books and shit. We’ve got enough, thanks.” </p><p>“No, those ain’t my people. Well I guess they are, but that’s the high elves. They’re the ones who’ve been mostly spearheading this… partnership. I don’t think you’ve had anything from the Crick, and I guarantee you, you haven’t had any of our fine bathtub mead. It’s almost illegal to ship across borders.” </p><p>“Mead you say?” that at least caught his attention. </p><p>“Yeah, it’ll get you fucked up.” She offered him the flask, “Now what you’re gonna want to do is huff it. Since this is your first time, you might see things, but it’s totally fine.” </p><p>Hardwon cocked his head and took the flask. He glanced around and saw Jaina off talking with the scholarly elf that came as part of Moonshine’s entourage. Knowing she was distracted, he took a huff. And immediately recoiled. </p><p>“Morridan’s fucking Forge, that’s like inhaling bleach.” </p><p>Moonshine laughed and took back the flask, “I know I know. I promise, it’s supposed to sting, this wasn’t a prank or anything.” She took a deep huff of it herself before screwing the cap back on.</p><p>She then looked to the man, “Like I said, it’ll fuck you up and hopefully get this party a bit more wild.” </p><p>Hardwon nodded, still recoiling from the pungent drug. But, it’s effects started taking root fairly soon. His eyes dilated and his movements became that much more loose. </p><p>Moonshine’s sobriety soon followed Hardwon’s in egress. As far as she could remember, the reception devolved, with the dwarves and few Crick folk just getting rowdy. Even papa Luc got dirty on the dance floor. </p><p>It wasn’t until the earliest hours of morning that her brain was working enough to form memories. </p><p>The reception was long abandoned and she and Hardwon walked through the halls, bathed in a soft gray-blue. She was faintly aware of someone herding them towards his quarters. Probably Jaina. She seemed like the type to be too straight laced to huff or drink. </p><p>In that moment, a thought form and likely spilled from her lips in a slur, “Damn, if you let me fuck you, I’m sure I could pull that stick from your ass and you could relax.” </p><p>Hardwon laughed. Maybe at her words if they were actually spoken, or maybe at the opossum that was still following them through the halls, though cranky at this point.</p><p>They got to the expansive bedroom with the door shut and Moonshine immediately started stripping off whatever she hadn’t already. By then, it was just the dress, and the veil, shoes, and stockings had all been lost long before. </p><p>Once she was suitably undressed, Moonshine threw herself on the big bed with a squeal of  glee. Hardwon soon followed, though with the majority of his clothes still on. </p><p>He pulled her to his chest and exhaled into her hair, “You’re a goddamn queen.” </p><p>Some part of Moonshine wanted to push herself away, but it was drowned out with the Crick Water and her cavalier attitude about being in close proximity with people, courtesy of her upbringing. She just relaxed into him with a lazy, haze smile, “I am now, yeah.” </p><p>His slurred voice continued, “But before that, Gemma, you were always a queen. You’re stunning. And I’m so goddamn lucky to have you.” His voice started to crack at the end of his sentence. </p><p>It was then that Moonshine snapped out of the hazy stupor that the bathtub mead had a tendency of trapping her in. Wiggling around a bit, she free a hand from where it was pinned by his muscly arms and brought it up to his face. She tapped his hairy cheek gently, “Hardwon, it’s the Crick Water talkin’, you’re confused.” </p><p>“Then lemme be confused. I’m happy.” He squeezed her tighter. </p><p>Moonshine sighed, and under her breath, uttered, “I’m sorry.” The two fell from their high into sleep, trapped in embrace.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Fic playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/12i3cIFvNqOU4VXvEWlT7L?si=4Yj-WAs1STGAqr_6IDtK3Q</p><p>If you want, you can leave suggestions for the fic, or for the play list. </p><p>Love you &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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